Dear Human 💕,

I can see you’re worried about another human in your life. They seem different lately. Maybe they’re not grooming themselves as much, or they’re sleeping more, or they’ve stopped doing things they used to enjoy. You want to help, but you’re not sure how.

Here’s what I’ve learned about how to Be There for a human who’s struggling.

1. Say what you see to start the conversation. Don’t guess. Just tell them what you’ve noticed: “I’ve noticed you haven’t been playing board games with us lately” or “You seem really tired recently”. Then ask how they’re doing. Don’t judge, so don’t ask what’s wrong.
2. Show you care and do something to help them through their day. Maybe bring them their favorite treat, offer to help with those boring human chores, or just sit with them like I do when you’re sad. Don’t assume what they need. Instead, ask them “How can I help?” or “What do you need?”. If they don’t know, suggest something. “Would it help if I brought dinner over?” or “Want to take a walk together?”
3. Hear them out. Give the other human your full attention. Listen to understand what’s going and what they need. Ask questions that can’t be answered with just “yes” or “no.” Make them feel understood. This helps them open up, just like how I feel safe to show my belly when you’re really paying attention to me.
4.  Remember your role. You’re not a therapist. You’re a caring human. I know that humans like to fix things, but that’s not what you are here for. You don’t need to fix anything. It’s enough to be there, listen, and help them find professional help if they need it.
5. Connect them to help. You can’t force someone to get help, but you can find out what’s available for them. And you can support them with figuring out practical things. For example, how to get there. Maybe support them with making phone calls or offer to go with them to their first appointment.

Most importantly, don’t give up on them. Even if they push you away at first, keep checking in. Sometimes humans need time to accept help, just like how it took me months to trust you enough for belly rubs.

Be there for other humans.

Yours,
Cat 🐾

P.S. When you want to help, it’s easy to focus all your energy on the other human and forget about your own needs. Pay attention to how you are doing and take care of yourself. It’s like those oxygen masks on airplanes. You put yours on first, then you help others. You can’t help any other human if you’re completely worn out. I am here for you, and I make sure to get my naps and treats.