Dear Human 💕,

A while ago I wrote you a note to always be on your own side. But I could tell you were left with a question: what does being on my own side (OMOS) actually look like?

Here’s what it means to me:

I accept myself.

🐾 I let myself be me, with all my weaknesses and faults.

🐾 I show up as who I really am. I don’t apologize for it.

🐾 I am a living creature. I have emotions. All of them. The good, the bad and the ugly.

🐾 I know I’m not for everybody. And in a world where every creature likes different things, why would I be?

I don’t attack myself.

🐾 I don’t attack myself. Ever. That’s not helpful.

🐾 I am kind to myself and treat myself with respect.

🐾 I am compassionate and encouraging to myself. Especially on the hard days.

🐾 I have patience for myself and all my feelings.

🐾 I allow myself to make mistakes and learn from them.

I listen to myself.

🐾 I’m curious about myself. I treat myself like someone worth getting to know.

🐾 I explore my feelings and thoughts.

🐾 I take time to reflect. I journal. That’s how I make sense of things.

🐾 All my feelings, thoughts, and experiences are okay. I might not like some of them. Others might not like them. They are what they are and they are telling me something.

🐾 I pay attention to what I’m drawn to. From urges to subtle desires.

🐾 I listen to myself and what I need and want. In this moment and in my life.

I take care of myself.

🐾 When my internal alarm system goes off, I slow down. I pause. I calm my nervous system. I soothe myself.

🐾 I prioritize rest and self-care.

🐾 I show myself that I matter. I do nice things for myself. I deserve them. I don’t need to earn them.

🐾 I make time for fun. To play. To enjoy things.

🐾 I ask for help when I need it. And I let others help me.

🐾 I am learning to forgive myself. Not because what happened was okay, but because I deserve to move on.

I live by what matters to me.

🐾 I own my reality. My own universe. I get to decide what’s important to me and what rules I want to live by.

🐾 I don’t live by “should.” I don’t have to meet expectations of others if they don’t work for me. I live by what matters to me.

🐾 I consider my own needs, and I speak up for myself.

🐾 My needs are important. They are as important as anyone else’s.

🐾 While I look for solutions that work for everyone, I don’t sacrifice my own needs. It’s okay to put me first sometimes.

🐾 I say no when something doesn’t work for me. Even when it’s uncomfortable.

🐾 I teach others how to treat me.

I appreciate myself.

🐾 I appreciate what I bring to the world.

🐾 I appreciate what went well and what I’m grateful for.

🐾 I take wins and successes as they come and celebrate them.

🐾 I am my own ally. My own advocate. My own best friend.

🐾 I am my own coach. I want the best for me. I support me.

🐾 I believe I can grow. I can learn. I can get better.

Meow. That’s a lot, I know.

Being on my own side is a process. Not a switch you flip. It’s the direction you walk in. It takes practice. Be patient with yourself.

I’ve been at this for years and I don’t get all of this right every day. Nobody does. That’s why I wrote it down. I come back to it whenever I need to remind myself.

I’m on my side. You’ve started getting onto yours. Let’s get you the rest of the way.

Yours, Cat 🐾

P.S. The idea of OMOS comes from Aziz Gazipura’s book On My Own Side. It teaches you how to become your own best friend instead of your own worst enemy. It shows you how to support yourself the way you support others you care about. You can find it in my book recommendations.

P.P.S. Before working on OMOS, it helps to remember that you have rights that come with being alive. No conditions. No exceptions.