Dear Human 💕,

I am proud of you!

You didn’t let the “Yes, sure.” slip out when something inside you was already screaming NOOOOOO. You said you’d check your schedule.

You took a day to think about it. And you decided your answer is NO. Now you’re struggling with how to say it.

You don’t need to explain or justify yourself. You don’t need to apologize for it either. If something doesn’t work for you, it’s okay to say no. Say it in a kind and respectful way. No hissing needed.

I usually just walk away, but humans need words.

Here are 50 ways to say NO.

Short and clear
Nothing else is needed.

1. No.
2. Nope.
3. I can’t.
4. I’ll pass.
5. I’m good.
6. Not today.
7. Not for me.
8. Can’t make it.
9. Not right now.
10. No, thank you.

When you’re invited to something
A karaoke night. A 9 PM dinner. A camping trip in November. The human asking thinks it’s fun, but it’s not your idea of fun (at the time).

11. I’m out this time.
12. I don’t feel like it.
13. I can’t make it. Enjoy!
14. I wish I could. Next time.
15. I’m going to sit this one out.
16. That’s not going to work, but I hope it goes well.
17. Thank you for inviting me. That’s not for me. Have fun!
18. Thanks for offering. I’m going to have to skip this one.
19. I’m keeping that evening free. Thank you for the invite.
20. Thank you for thinking of me. I can’t make it work right now.
21. Thanks for the invite. I’m not available, but I hope you have a great time.

When someone asks you for something
You don’t want to do it. A ride to the airport at 5 am. Helping someone move on your birthday. Organizing the office party. Dog-sitting for a week. Meow! I have strong feelings about that last one.

22. I can’t do that.
23. I can’t help this time.
24. That won’t work for me.
25. I don’t have the energy for that right now.
26. I can’t fit that into my schedule right now.
27. My plate is full right now, so I have to pass.
28. I can’t help with that, but I appreciate you asking.
29. That sounds great, but it’s not something I can commit to.
30. I’m not available to help with this. I hope you understand.
31. I can’t take that on right now, but I appreciate you asking.
32. I wish I could help, but I don’t have the bandwidth right now.
33. I appreciate the opportunity, but I need to focus on other things.
34. I’m not able to take that on, but I hope you find someone who can.
35. I’m not the right person for this, but thank you for thinking of me.
36. I can’t take that on without dropping something else that matters to me.

When it’s almost a yes
If you actually think it’s fun, or you’d like to help, say what you could do instead. A NO doesn’t have to mean never.

37. Not this one, but keep asking me.
38. I can’t this time. Please ask me again.
39. I’m saying no for now. Maybe another time.
40. I can’t do Saturday. Would the following weekend work?
41. I can’t take on the whole thing, but I could do the first part.
42. I’m not able to meet tomorrow. Are you free another day this week?
43. I would love to go, but I have plans already. Let’s find another day for it.

When they ask again
If you haven’t changed your mind, repeat yourself. You don’t owe them a new reason.

44. That’s still a no.
45. My answer hasn’t changed.
46. I’ve already answered this one.
47. I’ve thought about it, and it’s still no.
48. I’m not going to change my mind on this one.
49. Asking again won’t change it, but I’m not upset that you tried.
50. I know it’s not what you were hoping for, but my answer is the same.

And here’s how you word your own

Put together, it sounds like this:

Thank you for asking! I can’t make it. I don’t have the energy right now. I hope I can join next time. Have fun!

Saying no feels uncomfortable at first. It gets easier every time you do it.

You’ll notice that most humans take it better than you’re expecting. They say okay and get on with their day. That’s it.

Sometimes humans are disappointed. You can’t avoid that, and they’ll be okay.

I disappoint you several times a day and you still give me treats.

Now let them know it’s a no.

Yours,
Cat 🐾